Meeting the Man
by Kat-of-the-Streets
Summary: For Jenwren. Set in the The Affair universe. Mary has trouble trusting others, but Matthew is determined to make her trust him.


AN: This story is for Jenwren who has written many, many reviews for my stories. Thank you so much! I hope this is what you had in mind and that you enjoy reading it.

This is set in the universe of _The Affair_, although the Mary/Matthew part of probably also fits into the universe of _Welcome to the New World_.

For those of you who have not read either of those stories:

Violet got her will and Robert did not marry Cora, but someone else instead. His marriage is very unhappy and his wife is horrible to their only daughter Mary.

Let me know what you think!

Kat

P.S.:_ Sentimental Haste_ will be updated later today.

* * *

_Mary_

Her granny has sent her. Otherwise she wouldn't do it. At least not if it had been her mother who asked her to go. She knows her mother thinks that this is a good idea too, it is very seldom that they agree on something, but in this they do. The difference is that her granny wants her to go and greet the Crawleys to make sure that the neighborhood knows that they have accepted them. Her mother wants her to go because she hopes that she will marry Matthew Crawley, the new heir. Her father said that this Matthew Crawley was nice, so she isn't too nervous about meeting him. When she is admitted to the house, she overhears a conversation between Matthew and his mother.

"I have to be myself, Mother. I'll be no use to anyone if I can't be myself. And before they or you get any ideas, I will choose my own wife."

"What on earth do you mean?"

"Well they're clearly going to push their daughter at me. They'll have fixed on that when they heard I was a bachelor."

This hurts her more than it should. She is not too keen on him, she has never met him after all and he has never met her, this is in all likelihood not meant as a personal insult. But she has been insulted so often in her life that it is sometimes difficult for her to not be insulted by everything that could theoretically have been meant to hurt her. Her problem is that there are only three people in the world she feels she is able to trust. Her grandmother, her aunt Rosamund and her father. She knows it is her mother's fault, that woman has continually insulted her for the past 21 years and it has had a rather bad effect on her. It would be worse if her grandmother wouldn't let her stay in the Dower House so often, or if her father didn't allow her to spend that much time with her grandmother.

She talks to Mrs. Crawley briefly and the woman seems nice enough, Mary tells her to call her 'Cousin Mary' instead of 'Lady Mary', but when Mrs. Crawley offers her to stay for tea, she declines.

"I wouldn't want to push in," she says and regrets those words the moment they are out of her mouth. Sometimes it is hard for her not to turn into her mother.

"Lady Mary, wait." But she doesn't stop. Not right away. "Mary." She did not allow him to call her that, but it makes her turn around.

"I am sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I was just trying to get a point across to my mother. She can be rather stubborn and I, well anyway, I am really sorry and I did not want to hurt your feelings."

She looks at him, really looks at him for the first time. She sees his almost golden hair and his deep blue eyes. And she sees that he really is sorry. He does not just say it, he really is sorry. It is the first time that anyone besides her grandmother, aunt or father, has apologized for hurting her feelings. And it drives tears to her eyes.

"Mary, I can be a klutz when it comes to other peoples' feelings. I know that. So please believe me, I really didn't mean to hurt you." She nods.

"I do believe you Matthew. I'll see you at dinner tonight."

* * *

_Matthew_

Why did she cry? Well, not really cry, but there were tears in her eyes. He would not have thought that it would have hurt her so much. He wishes he could make it undone. There was something about her that intrigued him, something, that if he is honest with himself, lets him think that it wouldn't be too bad if Mary was pushed at him, at least a bit.

When he comes to the Abbey, he smiles at her and she smiles back. Dinner is slightly awkward. His mother and the dowager got off on the wrong foot, but what bothers him more than that is the behavior of Lady Grantham. She almost ignores him and his mother, which he can understand to some extent, but she is horrible to both Robert and Mary.

"Mary, don't eat any of that."

"Why not, mother?"

"Because you are fat enough as it is." He almost spits the drink in his mouth across the table. Mary looks at him and he nods at her.

"I think it is delicious. I would not want to miss it," he says and Mary smiles and takes another bite.

"You are a bit chubby yourself, Mr. Crawley."

"Chubby and happy, Lady Grantham." His mother is staring daggers at him, but Robert, the Dowager and Mary all look at him admiringly.

"Well, you look quite like the sea monster." He has been called many things in the years since he has been a lawyer, but never that.

"What?" He sees Robert roll his eyes at this.

"My mother is talking about Perseus and Andromeda."

"Oh. Why am I the sea monster?"

"Because you look like one." He has never met anyone so unfriendly or impolite.

"Phillipa, that is quite enough." He thinks Robert should have spoken up before this insult, but he is glad for the support nonetheless.

"Wasn't the sea monster chained to something? You are chaining him to the estate."

"Mother. It was Andromeda who was chained by the sea monster. And Perseus, son of a god, came to rescue her."

He is rather impressed by Mary.

"Mary likes to pretend she knows about the classics because her father read them to her when she was five. Quite inappropriate if you ask me. No Robert dear, don't argue."

"Don't call me dear. Don't pretend you like me."

He can't believe it. How can they behave like this? He knows that the marriage of Lord and Lady Grantham wasn't exactly a love match, but this sort of behavior seems very inappropriate when there are guests. He briefly shakes his head and then looks at Mary.

"So you are interest in the classics?"

"All sorts of literature, really. It is true, Papa and I did read the Greek classics together when I was five." Mary smiles at her father now and he smiles back as if he was remembering something very fondly. He wonders why Mary calls her mother 'Mother', but her father 'Papa'. It seems as if she was making a clear distinction between her parents. He calls his mother 'Mother' but called his father 'Father', so that was different. Although considering the impression that Lady Grantham has made on him so far, it isn't surprising to him that Mary would be a lot closer to her father than her mother.

"I am sorry Matthew, for the display of our family dynamics," Robert says to him as soon as the women have gone through.

"I thought, I don't know what I thought." He can't ask about something like this. He should pretend he didn't notice, although he supposes no one would believe that.

"I know you want to know whether it has always been like that and the answer, unfortunately is yes. I don't know you well, I hope to get to know you better, but there is one piece of advice I'd like to give to you right now. Don't marry someone you are not sure about just because it seems to be a good match on paper."

"I am planning on choosing my wife myself."

"I wish I had done that." He wonders why Robert gets so personal. They hardly know each other.

"But I won't complain. There are many things in my life I should be happy about." He wonders what Robert means by that but doesn't question it.

"What do you think of them?" his mother asks once they are home.

"Well, I like Mary and Robert and I think the Dowager is nice enough. But Lady Grantham? What a horrible woman."

"Yes. I think so too."

"Although it did explain something."

"What?"

"Oh, forget it." It did explain Mary's reaction when she overheard him earlier that day. He knows why she took such a serious offense. She has probably known nothing but offense from her mother. And he feels incredibly sorry for her.

* * *

_Mary_

"So Mary, how do you like the Crawleys?" She looks at her father and can see that he is pleased. She knows he is rather impressed with Matthew and she too thinks that they have been very lucky. It could have been so much worse. In fact it could hardly have been any better, despite the fact that James and Patrick are dead.

"I think they are quiet nice. Granny and Mrs. Crawley might not get along very well, but she still is nice."

"Your grandmother could use some opposition."

"Yes." She has to laugh about this and her father is right.

"What about Matthew?"

"He is very nice too. And he has got a good head on his shoulders, which can only be, well, good."

"Mary, I know your mother wanted you to marry Patrick and I know you did not like him. Please don't feel that I would want you to, well you know what I mean."

"Yes Papa. I know."

"I'm going to bed. I have to leave for London tomorrow morning."

"Business again?"

"Yes." She doesn't ask any further questions. She knows her father doesn't have business in London, she is also sure that most of the times he says he is going to London he isn't really going there, she has been sure that he is having an affair for years. She doesn't begrudge him that. She hates her mother and knows that her father doesn't feel any differently. She only hopes that the woman he seems to be seeing rather regularly is nice. But she is rather sure she is, because she has the feeling that he has been seeing the same woman for quite some time.

Because her father is wherever he is, she does not get to see Matthew Crawley for the next few days, but he is invited for dinner once her father is back. She looks forward to seeing him, but at the same time feels rather apprehensive about it. She is not very good at making small talk and she is always scared that people are playing false with her. Although she tries to tell herself that Matthew does not seem like someone who would play false with her.

The dinner is nice, especially since now her mother is in London and thus does not embarrass the family. She thinks that her mother is cheating on her father and she doesn't really care, but somehow she feels different about that than she feels about her father cheating on her mother. To her, her father has every right to do so, but her mother doesn't, not really. Her mother was the one who started it, she is sure of it.

Over the course of the next few weeks, months really, Matthew gets into the habit of having dinner at the Abbey at least four times a week and when for some reason her father doesn't have business in London to attend to, Matthew comes by every day. She starts to miss him when he is not there.

"Mary!"

"Oh, hello Matthew."

"What are you doing down in the village?"

"I am sending a telegram to my aunt in London. Although I don't really know why, as my father is going to London right now. I don't understand why he just can't tell her."

"Maybe his business is rather complicated and tiring."

"Maybe."

"Mary," he touches her at her arm now and it sends a shiver down her spine. "I was wondering if I might come dinner tonight even if your father isn't home."

"You want to sit through a dinner with my mother and me."

"Yes."

"Why?" She thinks she knows why, but she can't give him what he wants. She does not trust him enough.

"Will you walk with me? After you've sent the telegram?" She doesn't want to, but thinks that it is better that she does, to get this out of the way. So she sends the telegram and Matthew and her then start to walk on one of the back roads towards the estate. They talk about trifles first, but eventually, Matthew turns to her.

"Mary, I want to come to dinner tonight because I hate having dinner without you. I hate being without you."

"Why?" She will hurt him, she knows it and he doesn't deserve it, but there is no other way.

"The truth is, Mary, that I have fallen in love with you. I want to spend every waking minute with you. And the minutes I am asleep as well to be honest." He flatters her, he really does, but it is not possible for her to be for him what he wants her to be.

"Matthew, I am sorry, exceedingly sorry. But I don't think what you have in mind would work out. It can't."

"Why?" He looks so disappointed now. She wonders how much courage it took him to speak out like this.

"Matthew, you've met my mother often enough to know what she is like. She was even worse when I was younger and it influenced me. I can't, I don't trust people. Except for my father, my grandmother and my aunt. But I cannot get married to a man I don't trust." He looks as if he was going to protest but then shakes his head.

"Then I shall gain your trust."

"What?"

"I will do my very best to gain your trust."

"Matthew, I don't think" He now smiles and shakes his head again.

"No Mary, let me try. Please."

"Alright. You can try. But I can't guarantee that you will be successful."

* * *

_Matthew_

So he tries. He starts going to the Abbey right after work and takes walks with her. He goes to dinner there more often than not, he stays until late in the night if they are having a good conversation even if that means that he almost keels over in the office the next day. It happens so often that one of the partners asks him whether he has trouble sleeping. He coerces his mother into inviting Mary for dinner on some of the nights Robert isn't home so that Mary won't have to eat with her mother and when his mother says that 'enough is enough', he coerces Mary's grandmother into inviting both Mary and him for dinner when Robert isn't home. When they all have dinner at the Abbey and Mary's mother is impossible, he defends Mary every single time.

He begins to talk to her about his work. Without mentioning names, but he listens to her opinion on difficult subjects. She isn't always right, her ideas aren't always practicable, she has no training in law after all, but she has a good knowledge of the world, is far more liberal than he originally thought and is generally rather intelligent. They discuss politics and their opinions often differ greatly but he never belittles her, he always looks at her as his equal. Because that is how he thinks of her.

She asks him to help her find a Christmas present for her father, he spends a lot of time with her father after all, and so they meet in Ripon one afternoon in early December and browse bookshops for something that Robert would like. They find something eventually and Mary then drags him along to a jewelry shop.

"My aunt Rosamund loves jewelry but doesn't have a husband to get her new necklaces or rings or whatever else she wants. So Papa usually takes pity on her. But he always makes me chose it. Let's have a look around here, maybe I'll find something and won't have to go to London." So he watches her and notices that there is a necklace she keeps looking at, but she says that while she likes it, she doesn't think that her aunt would like it. A day later during his lunch break he goes back to the shop and buys the necklace. He knows it is not an appropriate gift for a fourth cousin once removed, but it is an appropriate gift for the woman he loves. And he does love her, he is sure of it.

On Christmas Day he gives her a book during the gift exchange with her family, it is a nice leather bound book about the Greek classics and she seems to be really touched. He takes her on a walk later, it surprises him that no one ever protest when he takes Mary on a walk alone, and then gives her the necklace.

"Matthew, you shouldn't have."

"I know. But I wanted to." She smiles a sad smile at him and he knows what is coming, he prepared for it after all.

"Matthew, I don't think I can ever be what you want. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being so nice to me, for being so wonderful. But I can't. I just can't be what you want me to be. Please try to find someone else." Now he is the one to smile sadly.

"I don't want to find someone else. And even if I did, I couldn't. Because I love you." He then does something he probably should not do, something that could ruin all the good work he has done so far, but he can't help it. He takes her face in his hands and kisses her on the lips. Only very briefly and very gently and he lets go off her right away but he is shocked by his own action.

"Or maybe not."

"What?"

"Maybe you should not try to find someone else. Not yet anyway." A warmth spreads through him and he wants to pick her up and swing her around and propose to her but he does nothing of the sort because he knows that would not be right, not in this moment.

So he continues to do what he did before Christmas, but now he sometimes holds her hands when they take a walk together and strokes her cheek when they say goodbye. He doesn't dare to kiss her again until Valentine's Day. Robert is in London again, which is just one more clue for Matthew that Robert must have an affair and he mentions this to Mary without thinking about it and she laughs and says "yes, I think so too. But who could blame him? And if he goes to see her on Valentine's Day, it must be love."

"Why?"  
"Because you spend Valentine's Day with the people you love." His heart stops beating, he goes hot and cold at the same time and starts to shiver and sweat. He takes hold of both her hands and when he leans in for a kiss, she doesn't back away. It is longer than their kiss on Christmas Day but not long enough for him.

"Mary, I" but she shakes her head again.

"Give it more time Matthew. I know I am asking a lot of you, I know I am not fair. But,"

"Will you let me kiss you from time to time?"

"Yes."

"Good." That will suffice for right now and to him it is like a promise of something more. 'From time to time' means about once a week at first, but not too long. By mid-April he kisses Mary goodbye whenever he has to say goodbye to her and no one is watching, by the beginning of May she starts to kiss him to greet him when no one is watching and by mid-May they kiss so frequently that they are both surprised about not having been caught yet.

They are sitting on a bench now, he has put one arm around Mary and she is leaning into him.

"We'll have visitors next week. A friend of the family, Evelyn Napier. He is rather keen on me."

"Is there a reason for me to be jealous?" He asks this half laughingly, he knows there isn't really a reason for this, he has never met that man so he can't be close to Mary. But another man interested in the woman he wants to make his wife before the end of the year still stirs something in him.

"You don't have to be jealous. He is bringing a Turkish diplomat. Something about the peace talks in Albania."

"Alright."

"I am supposed to go riding with them." She seems less than enthusiastic.

"I could come with you."

"Oh, would you? I know you don't like it much."

"I don't like riding much. But I like you very much." She gives him a kiss in return and for the hundredth time he wonders if it wasn't about time that he proposed to her. He does not want to appear too pushy, but he thinks they have passed the point of no return so to speak anyway.

He goes riding with her and Evelyn Napier and that Turkish diplomat. Kemal Pamuk. He does not like Kemal Pamuk. The man keeps flirting with Mary and he is too good looking. So when Pamuk challenges Mary to jump over a river, he decides to follow them. Both Mary and Pamuk take the jump easily, but he falls off his horse and into the river. To his great relief Mary stops and helps him and sends Pamuk ahead.

"Why in the name of the world did you do that, Matthew?"

"He challenged us."

"He challenged me. And I am a good rider. You are not. You don't have enough practice. But you do look nice in your wet clothes, I must say." He knows she wants to kiss him, he wants to kiss her too, but there are people around them, so she just helps him back onto the dry path and then they follow the others. Once they are back at the Abbey, everyone except for Mary and Robert laugh about him.

"The things we do for love," Robert says and smiles at him. He wonders what Robert does for love and stops just short of asking him.

He spends the evening watching Kemal Pamuk flirt with Mary and he sees how uncomfortable it makes her. He prizes her away from him three times, but that diplomat keeps coming back. After another round of him pulling Mary aside and Pamuk following, Mary whispers "I'll hide in the library for a while," into his ear. He nods at her, fully intending to follow her there in a few minutes. When he does it is still dark in the library but he hears voices and is sure that Mary is saying 'no', so he turns on the light and sees Pamuk pushing Mary into the shelf and attacking her with kisses. He grabs Pamuk by the scruff of his neck and literally throws the man across the room.

"What the bloody hell do you think you are doing? I will tell Lord Grantham about this, mark my words." Pamuk flees the library and Mary looks at him pleadingly.

"Don't tell my father. He'd have Pamuk thrown from this house and quite possibly arrested and that cannot be helpful to those peace talks."

"If you are sure. Are you alright?"

"Yes." She nods but there are tears in her eyes.

"I am sorry Mary, I shouldn't have let you go in here by yourself. Not with that man around."

"It's alright. I'm alright. Really." He knows she is putting on an act.

"You are shivering. You are not alright."

"No, I am not. He wants to come to my room tonight and I am afraid that he will find it."

"Lock your door and don't let anyone in."

"What if he knocks and wakes everyone that way? My mother would believe him if he told her that I had asked him there."

"But your father wouldn't."

"Matthew, I am scared."

"Don't be in your room tonight. Leave your door open. He won't say a word if he doesn't find you."

"Matthew, I would have to sleep in one of the guest rooms and chances that a member of staff would tell him which room I am in are not that low."

"Come to me then."

"What?"

"Sleep in my room. You get the bed, I sleep on the arm chair."

"You can't be serious. What if we were found out?"

"We would have to get married." Mary looks at him incredulously.

"You would like that, wouldn't you, Mr. Crawley?"

"So would you." He knows this is bold, maybe too bold, but eventually they will have to take this step.

"I hope this is not how you propose to me."

"No. I have something else planned for that." She smiles at him now, a real, full smile.

"Good. Because I would have had to say no to proposal like this."

"But you would say yes to a more suitable one." He phrases this as a statement.

"I might. Maybe you should try your luck." He knows what this means. He has won this battle. He has won her trust.

"So will you come to my room tonight?"

"Yes."

She doesn't knock and he must have looked rather flabbergasted, but welcomes her with a kiss nonetheless. She sits down on his bed and he sits in the arm chair, just as he said. They talk for hours and he thinks that they are having a glimpse of their future, of what it will be like once they are married. Because they are going to be married, he is sure of it and he knows that so is she.

"Matthew, this bed really is big enough for both of us."

"Mary,"

"What's the harm? If we are found out, it won't make a difference where in this room you've slept. So you might as well sleep comfortably." He can't fault that logic, so he sits down next to her.

He will never be able to explain how it happened, but eventually they are both lying down and he holds Mary tightly to him.

"Thank you Matthew. For being there for me."

"You are welcome, my darling." His heart is hammering in his chest. Mary has put her hand on it and he is sure that she can feel it.

"I love you." She has never said it before and he has never heard anything so wonderful.

"Then marry me."

"What?"

"This not the proposal I had planned, I wanted to do something romantic. But maybe this is the right way."

"Yes."

"Yes to what?" He is so nervous now he isn't sure that he won't faint.

"Yes, it is the right way and yes I will marry you." He can't say anything, but he pulls her closer to him and she begins to kiss him.

"Why did you say yes to this?" he asks her a while later.

"Because you have essentially proposed to me every day since the day you told me that you were in love with me. And what more could I want?"

"Something more romantic?"

"What could be more romantic? You saved me from ruin. In fact you have saved me from myself." He doesn't say anything. He knows this is true, her inability to trust could have hindered her for the rest of her life but he helped her overcome it. But he does not comment on it. Instead he says

"I love you."

"I love you too." He gives her one last kiss for the night and the falls asleep with his future wife in his arms.


End file.
